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BLOG - Let's get confident

25 Sep 2014

Lets Get Confident!

What does Confidence mean to you? We are all very different and it helps to define what it means to you, so write a few words, draw some pictures or just ponder over the word "Confidence" Imagine you are trying to explain the word to an alien from out of space who doesn't know anything about confidence, what would you say to them?

For me it means - Positivity, calmness, strength, being productive, feeling motivated, shoulders dropping instead of being hunched up, empowerment, feeling the ability to succeed, in control, enjoying a challenge and self belief.

Confidence is different from self esteem, however they do go hand in hand at times. Self esteem is about your self worth and how high or low you rate yourself (liking or disliking yourself), whereas confidence is about your ability to do something (Confidence in public speaking, in sport, driving a car etc).

5 Secrets of Naturally Confident People

1. Talking to themselves in a positive self empowering way
2. Making big, bold, positive images in their mind
3. Body Language – will use their body as if they are confident
4. Learn to embrace the full range of their emotions
5. Role Model to learn from the success of others

What could cause a lack of confidence?

Not living by your values can be a root cause of no confidence.
Fear and anxiety
Limiting beliefs
Past experiences

Establishing why it is important? 

What is possible for you?

What are the positive impacts for you in your life?
What are the benefits of having increased confidence? 
List your successes (big or small) .

Changing your mindset to focus on what you have achieved is a real boost to your confidence.

Who do you know who is confident?

What do they do?
What do you think they see and hear?
How do you think they feel?

Imagine floating into their body and experience the feeling of confidence.

Shelley's 11 Confidence Building Exercises

Breathing has the biggest effect on your mental, emotional and physical state. If you are nervous, be quiet and take a few moments to calm yourself down by breathing.

Talk Positively to yourself – Compliment yourself
If you have never complimented yourself, then now is a great time to start. Use your Great Me list and make and say bold statements. You do not have to do this in front of anyone and you do not even have to say them out loud. Recognise the good things you do and notice how you feel.

Create bright, bold, positive images in the mind
Create positive pictures in your mind. If you say and feel hindering thoughts then change them to helpful thoughts. If you are preparing for a big event then imagine it going brilliantly! Play it out like a colourful movie in your mind.

Body Language
When you feel unconfident, change your posture. Your mind and body are intrinsically linked and whatever your mind is telling your body then it will show in how you behave. Remember how you think is then how you feel and how you feel will then show in how you act and behave. Use your body in a confident way even if you are feeling nervous and you will feel a great difference.

Learn to embrace your full range of emotions
This is an important part of your intelligence and the unconscious mind is telling you to pay attention and learn something. Then you can act to put it right. Emotions are triggers in order to help you to understand what you need to do to improve a situation.

Learn from the success of others
Practice a sequence of helpful thoughts and behaviours and they will become habitual. If someone you appreciate as a confident person is role modelled by yourself then you can learn from their success of being confident and they do not even have to know! All you are doing is having a look at the strategies they use to feel and be confident.

Set Goals
You need goals in your life to know where you are going and what you want to be, have and do. When you do not have a goal in mind then you do not know how you are going to get there and the journey can be a very long one. Set goals in every area of your life, Personal, social, health, work etc. Set clear goals and set deadlines as your brain likes this!

Make notes
Get a notebook and record all the wonderful things you. By writing things down you will start to gain a decent level of self confidence. Whenever you feel down then open the notebook and enjoy reading your evidence based notes.

A simple confidence building technique is to expand your level of one's knowledge area. Find the areas you really need to expand on and start to work on those as they will help you the most. Start doing whatever it takes to get to the level that makes you feel more confident. Set goals and the more you know the better you will feel. With competence comes confidence.

Exercise at Work
If you have been in a working environment you will certainly have started to notice the things that you seem to do better than others and compliments you would have received. Remember what people have said when they have given you good feedback. Commit to becoming even better! Congratulate yourself from time to time about particular abilities you have. Be proud and learn to get better.

Have a "Can Do" Mind Set
Get into the "Can Do" mind set. Become a person that recognises the need to say Yes more and No less. Changing phrases like "I can't do this" to "Of course I can do this". Use motivating words as they have a strong effect on your self confidence. Say positive affirmations to yourself before going to sleep at night and as soon as you wake up in the morning.

I have great pleasure in knowing that I have helped many one to one clients as well as large groups of people attending my workshops to help themselves and gain more confidence.

Shelley Edwards - Progress to Success